I struggle with why it is so hard for people to openly love each other. Why is it so easy for things that don’t really matter to get in the way? Why is fear so much more powerful than love? It’s not supposed to be that way. How did it get like this? Who decided the fear of persecution would trump love? Wouldn’t real love be worth the judgement and/or possible sacrifice? If I had to choose between a friend or a job and a person who genuinely loved me and whom I loved - one I’d chose genuine love every time. Friends are fickle anyhow, and one can always get another job. Love is harder to find I think. Presumably, genuine love is stronger than all that other stuff. I want love to always prevail. Always.
Maybe the problem is that people just don’t understand what Love actually is or what to do with it. Perhaps it is too powerful and that power scares people. It can’t be contained and so people run from it. They don’t understand it and so they fear it - it is perhaps unknown and unknowable. Yet, we talk about love of this and that and say “I love you” when maybe what we really mean is “I like that you’re nice to me right now.” or something to that affect.
I thought I understood love. I mean, I watch it happen to other people. I see what they do with it and often they squander it, treat it like it’s some disposable item destined for the landfill, not as something precious and valuable that shouldn’t be taken for granted or tossed aside to be picked up later only when it’s needed. We should revere love - real love. Not romantic love, or heroic love, or the love of the game or whatever. Not passion or lust, but genuine love. The kind of love where even tho the other person has a bunch of faults and they drive you crazy, you still love them. They look a fright sometimes, and shit and fart, and vomit and get sick and you have to take care of them and they lose their job and go broke but you still love them. You maybe get mad at them sometimes cause they call you out on your bullshit and make you feel stupid and guilty but you love them for it cause they make you grow as a person and you love them for forcing you to grow. Real love goes both ways and is always present even when you don’t want it to be. And it hurts like a knife wound and you hurt when they hurt and...okay, enough of the maudlin crap. You get the point. This is how I understand love, but I observe something entirely different in other people. I wonder what the hell is going on. Maybe I’m doing it wrong...but I value it. I would think that people who are told they don’t deserve love (for whatever bigoted or prejudiced reasons) would value it more....Love is what you do despite fear (to spite fear?) and prejudice, and bigotry. To feel good and secure and all that stuff. It seems like a no brainer, right? So why is love so hard to do?
If it feels good just do it.
Maybe the problem is that people just don’t understand what Love actually is or what to do with it. Perhaps it is too powerful and that power scares people. It can’t be contained and so people run from it. They don’t understand it and so they fear it - it is perhaps unknown and unknowable. Yet, we talk about love of this and that and say “I love you” when maybe what we really mean is “I like that you’re nice to me right now.” or something to that affect.
I thought I understood love. I mean, I watch it happen to other people. I see what they do with it and often they squander it, treat it like it’s some disposable item destined for the landfill, not as something precious and valuable that shouldn’t be taken for granted or tossed aside to be picked up later only when it’s needed. We should revere love - real love. Not romantic love, or heroic love, or the love of the game or whatever. Not passion or lust, but genuine love. The kind of love where even tho the other person has a bunch of faults and they drive you crazy, you still love them. They look a fright sometimes, and shit and fart, and vomit and get sick and you have to take care of them and they lose their job and go broke but you still love them. You maybe get mad at them sometimes cause they call you out on your bullshit and make you feel stupid and guilty but you love them for it cause they make you grow as a person and you love them for forcing you to grow. Real love goes both ways and is always present even when you don’t want it to be. And it hurts like a knife wound and you hurt when they hurt and...okay, enough of the maudlin crap. You get the point. This is how I understand love, but I observe something entirely different in other people. I wonder what the hell is going on. Maybe I’m doing it wrong...but I value it. I would think that people who are told they don’t deserve love (for whatever bigoted or prejudiced reasons) would value it more....Love is what you do despite fear (to spite fear?) and prejudice, and bigotry. To feel good and secure and all that stuff. It seems like a no brainer, right? So why is love so hard to do?
If it feels good just do it.
2 comments:
Amen to that Love should be cause for celebration not fear well said
I'm not sure what Love is myself and throughout my life I've been asking ymself what is it exactly. I think it can encompass a variety of things, duty, honor, loyalty, devotion etc.. and the actions thereof. Though I don't think I've ever been in love with anyone. I think I'm still learning what love is and I think everyone may be on different levels when it comes to love. I believe everyone has a different way of explaining or expressing what that is. Sometimes we can understand it and other times we cannot. I think its the unknown that makes people afraid. I think Im rambling but I'll stop there.
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